Monday, April 27, 2009

A Cow Story


My friend Traci in Colorado has been entertaining her blog followers by sharing her bear stories. I have a bear mace story, but no animals were involved and it isn't very exciting, although very painful for my DH as he discovered a can of bear mace can and will explode if dropped on the garage floor. 
As a Midwesterner, we have to be content with more domesticated animals. So as not to feel left out entirely, I will share my cow story. 
See that little critter in the photo? Isn't it cute? Yah, you only THINK so. 
Once upon a time (all the best stories begin that way) when I was in the corporate world and busily marketing dairy products on behalf of American dairy farmers everywhere, we corporate types got the chance to visit a real, live dairy operation. 
We were touring the cow barn, a long structure filled with these animals, when all of a sudden one of my colleague pointed to the end of the barn and asked, "Are they allowed to just roam around the farm like that?"
Someone had apparently left the gate open and a few black and white Holsteins had escaped to frolic and play in a nearby cornfield.
The farmer's son ran off like a shot and we were left wondering what to do. Being helpful marketing-type people we thought we'd do the farmer a favor and try to do a little cow round-up. 
Five of us went outside to chase the cows. Soon, only two of us were left standing by the cornfield as three of my colleagues, all of them with the unfair advantage of growing up on a farm, had scampered as quickly as possible to climb up a roof, combine, or any tall structure nearby and available. Once safely perched ten feet off the ground they screamed to the two remaining (stupid) marketing types (I was one of them) and screamed, "Run! Its a bull!"
Remember the bull from Saturday morning cartoons when you were a kid? He was always brown, had a ring in his nose and liked to smell the flowers. No one ever told me bulls could be white and black. So as this enormous creature charged towards me I cleverly ducked behind a barbed wire fence. Did you know a barbed wire fence won't stop a bull? Well, now you do.  
Luckily the farmer's son came zipping back in the nick of time on an ATV, which I believe the cows took for their mother ship, and chased them back into the barn where they belonged. 
Ha! Now try to get one of those Colorado gals to come visit here after that scary story! :)

18 comments:

Traci M said...

I'm shakin' in my boots and laughing at you "cow-er-ing" behing barbed wire whilst a bull that looks like a Holstein cow is sizing you up...yikes!! I would not know what to do either Peggysue, and I wish I coulda seen the expression on your face!! This is right up there with the bear story for sure!!
Oh, and ya know, on the news the other day, I heard bear mace doesn't work unless it is sprayed within 30 feet of the bear, and I personally don't want to wait until one gets that close to me!!
Thanks for sharing your story, and that cow looks harmless, but so do those brown bears!!

The Mama Monkey said...

Were you in heels, too? Just wondering! Hey, maybe in that case one could try to beat the angry bull with them??! That would have been me, I am sure! Thanks for sharing your funny story!

Lois Jones said...

Forgot to post early when i stopped by. I'm still laughing!! Remind me to never take you to visit our family farm in NY. If you got like that with Holsteins how are you going to act with Gurnseys?? You crack me up!!! I love it.
But where is the cow card to go with the story???

Chef Mama Lori said...

Peggysue, I'm thinking you might want to "STEER" clear of Texas now that I've read this! Did I ever mention the time the "worm" in the house slithered down the hall?

I'm cracking up at you & not knowing it was a bull! I can just see you all prettied up & standing there with the dork look on your face. You did us dorks proud, ma'am! Were you "udderly" embarrassed? Or did you milk the story for all it was worth?

Leah said...

Very funny story, but I would be so scared! Love your card below this post too, very pretty.

Diane said...

You ought to be a writer! You done real good!!!

Mara... said...

Hee hee!! What a great story! I love it!!

mollymoo951 said...

HAHAHA! That's a good story.

laos348 said...

What a great story!!

Karen Lynn said...

Oh, my goodness! That's too funny!

Too bad the cows weren't frolicking in a dandelion patch!

Lee said...

Oh dear, not very funny at the time but I'm sure you can laugh about it now.

Gina said...

Oh, I am really laughing, thanks for sharing that story.

Grace said...

LOL! What a funny story! I agree you should be a writer... you spin the yarn quite well my dear!!! I am laughing my head off over here! I'll bet you didn't make that mistake again! My Grandparents had a farm and that was back when they used real bulls instead of artificial insemination... so I learned pretty early what a bull looked like! LOL! Thanks for the laugh! After a busy week it was great to sit and laugh!!! Hugs!

Kay said...

Ha, ha, ha! You nade my Thursday - too funny!!

edith said...

peggysue, you write so very well!! Thanks for the chuckles this morning!

and on another note....

I know you've been over to Woman to Woman: Sharing Jesus. Diane created a new blog award that I get the great privilege of giving to you!!! You can pick it up here

Mothermark said...

Hmm....that sounds like a fish story! I mean a story with a bunch of bull in it! Snort!

One day I walked into the kitchen at Traci's condo in Steamboat and there was a bear on the countertop trying to get in the cupboard to get at some tasty honey! We was friend though and we sat down and had toast with peanut butter and honey spread on it! I wonder if he will come back to see me May 15th.

I actually believe your story cuz I have been around many corporate types! Giggle!

BethieJ said...

LOL! Oh Peggysue that was so FUNNY! Glad you made it away from the bull safely... (I NEVER knew they could be white and black either.. always thought they were black or brown! Now I know!)
Have a GREAT weekend!

DaDoodleDiva said...

Oh my! I laughed so hard when I read this story. I had to share it w/my DH. I am so glad noone got hurt.